Review of the year

I think now is a good time to review my first year exhibiting my work.  I had planned to doing exhibitions for a number of years however did not find I had the focus and time until the beginning of 2013.  In order to even contemplate exhibitions there needs to be a body of work, and there needs to be a confidence in the work that is produced and that takes times and effort.  I was first introduced to the idea of exhibiting my work by a relative in 2010.  I had just recovered from sciatica (the sort that stops you walking and you have to take medication that makes you hallucinate) and now felt ready and able to return to my art.  I'd never thought about exhibiting my work, I'd only done that for GCSE, A level and Art Foundation year.  This year I have had work accepted into 4 exhibitions and have another in the pipeline for the beginning of 2015.  It's more than I expected.  It's been a cathartic experience but sometimes challenging (not artistically but mentally).  I have focussed on past events in my life as well as themes of nature, escapism and in earlier works nature reclaiming areas that were once industrialised.  I have so many more ideas and the need to continue to develop the themes that I have already started.


Apotropaic Trees, A3 pen drawing and gouche.

So, the second year of art exhibitions beckons.  It will be interesting to see where it goes!

In front of the chain link fence (a personal viewpoint about bullying)

For those who know me, I have been talking recently about chain link fences and the significant role they have unfortunately played in my childhood.  I'll discuss the chain link fence separately in my next post and explain the story behind it.




In front of the chain link fence, pen drawing and gouache, A3 (2014)

In this work the chain link fence is a symbol for the bullying that I've encountered throughout my life.  I'm not one of life's victims or a martyr.  I have too much self respect to start a pity party, however facts are as they are, throughout my life bullying has unfortunately played its despicable part. 

What is bullying?  It is using a person's weakness (or perceived weakness) against them in order for the bully to feel better about themselves.  In my case it has usually hinged on my quiet/shy personality.  As a kid, this shyness meant other kids felt they could name call, punch and hit, spit or do any other type of nastiness because they felt a quiet kid wouldn't tell anyone and wouldn't fight back.  At first this was true but as I got older I did learn to fight back with devastating results for the bully I'm glad to say.  Still, one cannot physically fight back with adult bullies when one is an adult.  It's a different game altogether from childhood bullying.  Adult bullies (and there are an awful lot of them out there) still use your weakness against you so that they can feel better about themselves.  They nick pick, fault find (you can never do anything right), gossip nastily behind your back, start slander campaigns against you, try to character assassinate you as a person to anyone daft enough to listen to their vitriol and in certain cases say nasty things directly at your face.  I've had all of the above.  If you fight back against them they either learn their lesson and stop the bullying or in the case of adult bullies that I've encountered, they play the victim and make you out to be a terrible person for pointing out their nasty behaviour to them.  These bullies are particularly crafty because they need an audience thus the 'poor me' act is played out to the eager onlookers, lots of lies are told about you and their behaviour (they put themselves across a good people, saints, while you are the devil incarnate).  This is where the character assassination happens.  In order to 'win', they must make sure that their audience knows just how rubbish you are as a person, even how 'mad' and psychologically unstable you are for daring to confront their crappy behaviour.  I'm sure all of you reading this knows of child and adult bullies that resemble the bullies that I have described.

What is my opinion about bullies?  They exploit a perceived weakness because in reality it is they that are weak.  They have fragile egos that need to exploit the perceived vulnerabilities of others.  Quite pathetic as far as I can see.  Yes, some bullies were bullied, but that isn't an excuse, I've been bullied everywhere I go and that hasn't turned me into a sad bully.

The chain link fence isn't shown clearly in this piece although it is actually there behind the distorted leaf and branches.  I think it's right that the branches and leaf are somewhat distorted, it sums up my thoughts about bullies as people.  Also, the way I've drawn this is in a chain link style so its essence is carried though.  As a symbol, a chain link fence is there to separate one area from another, to keep some things in and some things out.  It is also used around prisons.  To me, the chain link fence is like a prison when you are caught in the sights of the bully.  You can't escape their nastiness and you are forced to either take a beating (physically, verbally or via character assassination) or you fight back.  Either way, you are put in a situation you would like to escape but cannot.

Painting titled '1979'

This is my latest painting based on the 'Girl' series of work that I have focussed on since October 2013.  This work is titled '1979' for the obvious reason that the story behind it took place in 1979.

1979, oil painting on board, 110cmx110cm

My mum's partner at that time used to come over to our house at drive out to the Pennine hills or where ever, usually on the motorway.  He was a trainee dentist and had a couple of cars, one a red MG and the other a yellow Spitfire.  Both cars had soft tops that could be taken off.  This guy loved doing that even in the winter.  I hated it.  Driving down the motorway at 80mph (or more) with me in the in back clinging onto the chair in front.  I was sure I was going to be sucked out of the car, there were no seat belts in the back (no cars did in those days) and the sides of the car were really low.  This was the situation each time we went out anywhere until the one occasion when he came over to take us out to Chester Zoo in the summer of 1979.  He had hired a 'proper' car with a permanent roof (I think the other cars were being repaired).  It was an immense relief seeing that car.  I knew that I would get to see the zoo rather than get sucked out of the car.  I have been told that my drawings and I suppose my paintings are scary.  Maybe that childhood memory is coming through.  I have also been told that my work is very tense due to the detail.  When you have tense memories that inspire the work you do, then the work will turn out tense.  It's part of the explanation maybe for why I don't currently do any artwork that is relaxing.